Here’s one I’ve been hearing lots of people talk about lately (I always find it fascinating how things occur in waves). There’s a buzz going around about how everyone acts and behaves like they are entitled to something. The interesting thing is, I hear everyone saying how it’s everyone else that has entitlement issues, but not themselves!
The reality is we all have entitlement issues, because we all were born with egos. We have discussed in previous Tune Ups what ego is, and how to get rid of it, so it may be a good idea to go back and review those after reading this Tune Up.
Entitlement comes from of a place of believing that you are owed something, that you deserve something simply because, well, you deserve it. It can be in the form of a raise at work, receiving recognition for something you did, being treated a certain way, or being given a responsibility that you believe you have earned. It also comes in the form of superiority, a sense of “I have so much experience, you should listen to me”.
The worst part of a sense of entitlement is that it leads to a blockage of opportunities because we think we already know the answers to something. It keeps us closed off from the big picture. Remember how dangerous this is, because we don’t know what we don’t know.
The way that most of us develop an attitude of entitlement is by constantly doing things that we are comfortable with and never trying anything new. The repetition of the same things over and over gives us confidence. But not attempting anything new is a lack of courage and risk taking; both skills are necessary to succeed and overcome our ego. And here is where we reach the fine line between confidence and entitlement. We should be confident in the things we do, but we should not cross the line where we believe we are owed something because we possess knowledge. In fact, it should be the other way around. When we know, we must share and pass it on. A mature person does not look for praise and recognition.
It is interesting that some of the most respected figures in history all have humility in common. They received lots of praise for their work, but not because they did the work for praise. They focused on the “journey” as they say, not the result.
Lastly, remember that we see our own faults in others when we judge. This is different than when a teacher, for example, has to point out a mistake a student is making to help them along. That kind of judgment comes from a place of sharing. Negative judgment comes from our egos attempting to make ourselves feel better by putting others down when we don’t fully understand them. So when we see someone with “entitlement issues” we just might be looking in the mirror.
If we all choose to work on our own “stuff” we might have more free time to do more important things, instead of clutter our heads and hearts with feelings of judgment and entitlement. More time to work on the good stuff means we get more good stuff out of life.
Work on the good stuff.
All the best,
David Alvas
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