Winners and Losers

*Tournament Edition*
by Master Instructor David Alvas, Director



With our upcoming Fall Championship fast approaching, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about the spirit of competition in Tang Soo Do, as it relates to winning and losing in life.

Everyone, either currently or at some point in their lives, likes to win medals and trophies.  They are a symbol of accomplishment.  They are ornamental representations of hard work, determination, skill, and countless other adjectives that describe success.  On the other side of the token, I don’t think I have ever met anyone that does back flips when they lose.  That’s not to say I haven’t seen people take losing with a good attitude, but it still hurts.
Why is it that human beings, for the most part, care when we win or lose?  It’s because we are all striving for peace in our lives.  We are looking for that injection of good feelings that will last a long, long time.  Winning provides that feeling, and it can last a while – even a few days or weeks.  But it doesn’t last long enough.  That’s why next time there is an opportunity for success, we will go after it, even if we have already won.

I have seen people walk away from competitions with gold medals around their neck, sometimes even more than one, and find no peace within themselves.  Winners can be losers when you win with the wrong attitude or perception.  If you win first place, and walk away thinking ‘I’m the best’ or ‘no one can beat me’ or even ‘I have nothing left to learn’, then you are walking away a loser and have won nothing and found no peace.  You will not achieve a feeling of humble accomplishment that will stay with you for the rest of your life.  The only thing you will find is an insatiable quest for boosting your ego.  You will never find peace.

I have also witnessed people who win nothing in a competition – not even a participation ribbon – walk over to the winners and shake their hand and say ‘I learned a lot watching you today.  Thank you for being an inspiration for me to do better.’

This person really won the competition.  They went home peacefully and with a good feeling to strive to improve.
The highest form of winning is to walk away from a competition, with or without a medal, and understand the things you did wrong and right, and have the courage to continue to work on it.  A true sign of courage is to continue to walk the path even after bearing defeat.

These are all virtues that can only be learned by experience. There are WORLD lessons in life, and there are WORD lessons.  The concept of winning and losing can only be learned in worldly experience.  And it takes a lot of experience.
For parents, this is a painful thing to watch your children learn.  Our natural instinct as parents is to protect our children from any kind of pain, but WE MUST realize that this is impossible to do all the time and may actually hurt the child greatly in the big picture.   For children to grow up balanced, they must learn how to accept victory with great humility, and defeat with great courage.  This is the spirit of Tang Soo Do that we try to instill in all of our students, young and old.

So how, as parents, can we help children learn these things?  You have to start by talking to them about the concepts, and then making them accountable for their actions.  When they do well, praise them, and tell them how proud you are.  Ask them how they feel.  Ask them what they thought was the best part of the accomplishment.  Ask them what they thought they could improve on.  Then tell them one more time how proud you are.

The tough one is when children, especially younger children, fail at something or don’t get the outcome they expected.  This is hard to watch as a parent.  However, we must be their strength in this time and help them get back up.  They will learn more from picking themselves up than you can imagine.  As long as you are there to encourage them and not make excuses for them, they will get better.  Making excuses when your child fails, and telling them that it was someone else’s fault, will set them up for monumental failure later in life.

To my adult students, when you compete next week, release your ego and compete to learn more about yourself.  More knowledge and understanding of yourself will help bring you more peace.

To the parents of the young students in the school, please share this lesson with your children so they can begin the process of finding peace in their lives.  It is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

All the best,
David Alvas

Weekly Tune UP 9-9-2011

The Value of Commitment
By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director
This was submitted to me by my student, Rose Sheehan.  Rose has been training at USK Karate since 1999 and is a 3rd Dan certified instructor, contributing writer, and advisor to the school.  It has great value in its message:

“In life we all have desires.  There is a gap for most of us on how to actually move daily, within the desire, toward achievement. An often overlooked tool is the concept of making a commitment, and then doing everything required to complete it…even if you want to back out.  Surprises linger behind the energy we put out in the process of completion.  With the correct attitude, we uncover things that only action can unveil.  We change ourselves on a cellular level and thus self expansion can occur.  This is part of the process of self discovery and self mastery.  Commit fully and do not abort the process.   Be prepared to smile about it.
 USK students and families, regular training and commitment to becoming a Dan member is a life enhancing process.  Lessons absorbed by sticking with this commitment and seeing yourselves or your children as Dan members will provide more than physical training and self-defense.  Prepare to honor this commitment and be prepared to smile about it.”

 References:
Scripture: By your steadfastness and patient endurance, you shall win the true life of your souls.  Luke 21:19
Tang Soo Do:  One of the Eight Key Concepts:  In Neh, translated “endure patience”.
Quote:   "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."  Henry Ford

All the best,
David Alvas

Change Your Filters

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director



We have been very busy here in our studio. In all of the busyness, we forgot to change the A/C filters one month. We noticed that it was getting warmer in the studio by the day, until we finally noticed a month too late that the filters had been neglected. When we removed the old filters, they were TOTALLY clogged up and not functioning as intended at all. The filter was so bad that when we dropped the temperature of the A/C to 70 degrees, the room never cooled below 79 degrees. When I went to the store to get new filters, I decided to use a premium filter that would last three months, but still change it once a month. The results were amazing. The room cooled down as it was supposed to within an hour of the temperature being set.

As human beings, we have filters, too. But we can go years, even decades without changing our filters. Our filters are things like our perception of ourselves, others; even the food we eat. Imagine what kind of effects it can have on our mind, body, and spirit if we do not keep our filters clean of negative energy and impurities. We can’t function efficiently and be as productive.

How do we ‘change our filters’? The next time you feel like gossiping, say something nice instead. The next time you feel like you are going to blow up, walk away and breathe. When you feel like you are making an impulse decision, step back and take some time.

Most importantly, treat others with love and respect and realize that everyone, EVERYONE has something to teach.

Have a squeaky clean week!

All the best,

David Alvas

USK Karate Academy's Technical Tip Series - Basic Form 1

E+R=O Event + Response = Outcome

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

Patrick and Rose Sheehan, two of my most senior adult students, shared this with me. It’s by Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series. Enjoy!

“The basic idea is that every outcome you experience in life (whether it is success or failure, wealth or poverty, health or illness, intimacy or estrangement, joy or frustration) is the result of how you have responded to an earlier event or events in your life.

If you don’t like the outcomes you are currently getting, there are two basic choices you can make.

1. You can blame the event (E) for your lack of results (O). In other words, you can blame the economy, the weather, the lack of money, your lack of education, racism, gender bias, the current administration in Washington, your wife or husband, your boss’ attitude, the lack of support, the political climate, the system of lack of systems, and so on. If you’re a golfer, you’ve probably even blamed your clubs and the course you played on. No doubt all these factors do exist, but if they were the deciding factor, nobody would ever succeed.

Jackie Robinson would never have played major league baseball, Sidney Poitier and Denzel Washington would have never become movie stars, Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer would never have become U.S. Senators, Erin Brockovich would never have uncovered PG&E’s contamination of the water in Hinkley, California, Bill Gates would never have founded Microsoft and Steve Jobes would never have started Apple Computers. For every reason why it’s not possible, there are hundreds of people who have faced the same circumstances and succeeded.

Lots of people overcome these so-called limiting factors, so it can’t be the limiting factors that limit you. It’s not the external conditions and circumstances that stop you- it’s you! We stop ourselves! We think limiting thoughts and engage in self-defeating behaviors. We defend our self-destructive habits (such as drinking and smoking) with indefensible logic. We ignore useful feedback, fail to continuously educate ourselves and learn new skills, waste time on the trivial aspects of our lives, engage in idle gossip, eat unhealthy food, fail to exercise, spend more money than we make, fail to invest in our future, avoid necessary conflict, fail to tell the truth, don’t ask for what we want-then wonder why our lives don’t work. But this, by the way, is what most people do. They place the blame for everything that isn’t the way they want it on outside events and circumstances. They have an excuse for everything.

2. You can instead simply change your responses (R) to the events (E)-the way things are-until you get the outcomes (O) you want.

You can change your thinking, change your communication, change the pictures you hold in your head (your images of yourself and the world)-and you can change your behavior-the things you do. That is all you really have control over anyway. Unfortunately, most of us are so run by our habits that we never change our behavior. We get stuck in our conditioned responses-to our spouses and our children, to our colleagues at work, to our customers and our clients, to our students, and to the world at large. We are a bundle of conditioned reflexes that operate outside of our control. You have to regain control of your thoughts, your images, your dreams and daydreams, and your behavior.

Everything you think, say and do needs to become intentional and aligned with your purpose, your values, and your goals.”

Have a great week tweaking your success formula!

All the best,

David Alvas

Weekly Tune UP 7-1-11

Weekly Tune Up

Re-Creation

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

Summer is the time for fun! Families do their best to take trips together, go camping, barbeque on the weekends, and head to the beach. We try to take advantage of the summer months for recreation.

When you look at the word recreation, you will notice that it can be broken down in to re-creation; in other words, time to re-create ourselves and unwind - spiritually, mentally, and physically.

In martial arts we talk a lot about balance and the cycles of nature. We study how nature balances out all things. Forests get struck by lightning and catch fire, only to be reborn again with fertile soil. Hurricanes balance the oceans, and cleanse the land (although our existence on the land makes hurricanes a ‘bad’ thing, even though it’s a natural part of nature). The point is that nature takes time to take care of itself and remain in perfect balance, alignment, and harmony.

We use vacations the same way. We take time to unwind, relax, read a good book, go out to a nice dinner, and spend time with the ones we love. This process relaxes the body and mind and allows new energy to flow through us. This positive energy rejuvenates and inspires us, and gives us motivation to keep creating our lives and moving forward.

The key, however, to fully realize the potential of re-creating ourselves, is in being in the moment. How many times have you been on vacation, and spent the entire trip counting the days until you had to return to work? Not very fun and rejuvenating, is it? That’s because we are not living in the present when we have to grumble over counting the days until work starts again. Be in the moment. Be with your family and friends, not in your negative thoughts and back at work. The work can wait and will be there when you return.

If you can be in the moment this summer, and balance out all of that hard work you’ve been doing with some relaxation and fresh energy, you will be able to better re-create yourself, and bring out the new and improved you.

All the best,

David Alvas

Weekly Tune Up 6-10-11

“Flexible Growth”

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

“Effort is an expression of a deep desire in the soul. It is part of our process in this lifetime. We do not ride a bike the first time we try, and the same principle applies to our spiritual growth. “

-Yehuda Berg

Martial arts share this same wise standard. Our personal growth (meaning spiritual, mental, and physical) is not a direct line to ‘the top’. It is a constantly expanding and contracting journey of success’ and failures. Usually, it’s the failures that push us to the top. Success is a result of our ability to overcome failure with courage, focus, endurance, resilience, and flexibility.

Flexibility is not one of the words you see in the dictionary next to the definition of a champion, but it should be. Learning to see others feelings and adapt to them is an important part of being successful. Learning to see how others view you is also important. Both help you to understand others. This is similar to a professional sports team studying film on another team in an effort to understand them better. When people understand each other, it is easier to achieve peace.

A big question I get all of the time is about flexibility and children. How can you be flexible with your child but still help them to be happy and achieve their goals? It starts with asking yourself as a parent some questions:

1) Am I being firm and fair, but fun? (Kids require this critical balance for growth. If you are firm and fair, but not fun in your approach to learning, they will lose interest in what you are trying to teach them).

2) Why am I requiring this of my child? (You are not a bad parent if you make them do something that is in their best immediate and long term interest. If you are making them do something because you want to relive a part of your childhood through them that you did not get a chance to do, you may want to rethink the requirement.)

3) Is this in the highest and best interest of my child? (If it is, NEVER feel guilty about making them do it. They will thank you when they are older. And if they never thank you, you will get your reward in watching the positive behaviors and attributes you helped to instill in them.) I know I thanked my parents for the things they “made” me do.

Being flexible as a parent is tough, and as they say, kids don’t come with a manual. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there with great wisdom and experience who can help you bring out the best in yourself and your children. Knowing when to be flexible and when to hold firm makes a huge difference. Hopefully the three questions above will help you to search yourself and find the answers you are looking for.

All the best,

David Alvas