Weekly Tune Up

Practicing Expansion in Challenging Moments
By Master David Alvas, Director

In the martial arts, we talk a lot about expansion and contraction as it relates to technique. We focus on how the body works, how it moves, and how it FEELS when it moves. We spend a lot of time on our state of mind during our training so that we can better develop our mind-body connection.

When a student is injured, we teach them how to expand past their injury with different types of breathing and a solid intention to move forward and grow from their setbacks.

The same can be achieved in our everyday lives. When bad news hits, our first response tends to be a contraction, a tightening up. We say to our selves “This can’t be happening!” We feel paralyzed. It is important that in this moment, we transform paralysis into proactive, productive action. Go completely into that moment and try to understand exactly what you are feeling and find the opportunity in the experience. If you look, you will find it. This will allow you to grow and to make better decisions down the line. Do everything you can to expand your thinking past the problem. We can never find a solution if we are focused on the problem, we must focus on the solution. When our minds learn to focus on finding the answers in challenging times rather than letting the situation paralyze us, only good things can happen. It may not always be what you want, but it will be what you need.

So take many deep breaths, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth, and focus on expanding your mind to find the solution.

Trust me, it is there.

Are you looking with the correct intention?

All the best,
David Alvas

Watch the TWO NEW VIDEOS BELOW --->

Below you will find two BRAND NEW VIDEOS demonstrating incredible ice breaks and the method by which to execute these breaks. They are a must see for your advancement in your martial arts training!

Enjoy!

USK Karate Academy - Master Alvas Breaks 14 Bricks of Ice!

USK Karate Academy's Technical Tip Series - Breaking

USK Karate Academy - Life Changing Testimonial

USK Karate Technical Tip - Front Pushing Kick

Weekly Tune Up - Raising Children

Weekly Tune Up

Raising Children

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

Year after year, I sit down and talk with parents in my school about the joys and challenges of raising kids.  This tune up is geared for parents, with some great wisdom that has been passed down to me from people of great experience and success raising children. 

One of the biggest concerns that I hear about daily from parents is the fear of pushing or making their children do something they don’t want to do.  In order for us to address this, we have to back track a little and examine some facts about human nature:

1)     Most people don’t like the idea of change.  Most people view it as negative rather than an opportunity for growth.  Unfortunately, most people stay programmed this way their entire lives.

2)      Children actually deal better with change than adults.   They still feel stress, they feel anxiety, and their feelings change momentarily, just like an adult.  And yes, parents, to a child, their “problems” are just as important and stressful to them as yours are to you.

3)     The difference between an adult and a child is that an adult has had more time to figure out how to keep their feelings in check, and how to put others first, especially if they’re a parent or teacher.

4)     Adults have had more time to identify priorities, and then make the necessary sacrifices to fulfill those priorities.

5)     Adults have the capacity to envision many different futures and understand that consequences of what happens today effects and shapes tomorrow.

It is really important to understand that a parent’s job is not to be their child’s friend (although you should be friendly with them).  You are their leaders.  You are their teachers.  And yes, you are their disciplinarians.  My instructor used to say all the time that a parent is the custodian of a child’s future.  And, as a custodian, it means you must do everything it takes to prepare them for life on their own.

As an adult, you understand how challenging it is to navigate life.  You see, on a daily basis, what the ups and downs are, and that some of the ups are really good, and that some of the downs can be really bad.

Do you want your child to be able to handle life’s challenges and successes when they are finally independent?

Here is some suggestions:

1)     Remember that your first job as a parent is to love your child and get them ready for adulthood.

2)     Getting a child ready for adulthood means sacrifices on your part.  Big ones. Especially emotionally.

3)     If you have to discipline your child to ensure that they learn a valuable lesson and it hurts you like hell, it’s OK.  The pain will subside soon for the both of you. 

4)     YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON IF YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD AND THEY GET UPSET.  It is a natural reaction on their part to want what they want, and when they don’t get it, to let you know they are displeased. Theirs is the pain of frustration and incomplete understanding.  Learning to tolerate the frustration is part of healthy normal development, in fact it is essential.  Just think of how much frustration YOU have had to learn to cope with to be successful!

5)     IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO MAKE YOUR CHILDREN HAPPY ALL OF THE TIME.  YOUR JOB IS TO GIVE THEM THE TOOLS NECESSARY TO CREATE THEIR OWN HAPPINESS FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

This doesn’t mean that you should not have tons of fun with your children, love your children, and help them to fill their lives with joy. In fact YOU SHOULD.  It boils down to your level of self-discipline and ability to do what is necessary today to ensure their well being tomorrow.  Kids will cry, they will get upset, and they will throw tantrums.  It is part of them working out their issues and learning priorities, boundaries, and structure.

Ask yourself this question every time you are “forcing” your kids to do something:

 If you are making them do something, is it because you want it, or because it will help them learn something valuable they will need for the rest of their lives?

For example, are you making your children play baseball because you want them to live the dream you never could, or because there is something they need to learn from the game?

Children are not here to live our dreams.  They need to have their own.

Simple question, yet not always easy to find the answer.  Answering this question will require you to do some soul searching.     

Always put the child’s future first.  Try to avoid the instant gratification of giving them what they want right now.  They will thank you for it when they are older.

All the best,

David Alvas

USK Karate Technical Tip - Stances

Watch as Master Instructor David Alvas describes key points to remember regarding the completion of your most fundamental stances.