Monday, November 28, 2011

RESPONSE-ABILITY



I would like to share with everyone something I have learned that has impacted my life greatly, as well as the lives of my most senior students.

Responsibility has become a cliché term in the martial arts world. Drive around and look at the store fronts of most martial arts schools, and you will probably find this word in big vinyl letters glued to the windows. But what does it really mean to be responsible? Talking about the word does not give it life. It must become an action-philosophy. This simply means that we give purpose and meaning to a philosophy by putting it into action.

Let’s start by identifying what responsibility IS NOT. Someone once said that “irresponsibility is not honoring the best version of yourself.” This is important because it suggests that we have to be accountable to ourselves first. People may never know some of the things that you do, BUT YOU WILL. You’re the one who has to sleep with it at night.

Being responsible for yourself and others has a lot to do with your ability to not react when something happens to you that you normally would react to. If you break down the word responsibility, you get two new words: RESPONSE and ABILITY. Your ability to respond to situations in a proactive manner determines the outcome. Reacting to a situation is not a conscious effort and therefore leads to no transformation for you or the issue you are trying to resolve.

Remember that becoming the best version of yourself means BEING the best version of yourself. To accomplish this, learn to transform from a reactive being to a proactive being, one moment at a time. That is what it truly means to be responsible.
What is your response-ability?

All the best,
David Alvas

Monday, November 14, 2011

Your Last Five Bucks



Charity is a vital part of our growth as human beings. The last few years have been very trying for millions of American families. We have cut back on most everything, and we take much longer to make a decision about spending money (that is a good thing). One of the hardest hit areas in our country, which is always hit hard when there is a financial crisis, is charity. After all, we have to take care of ourselves first before we can help others, right?

Not always. You may remember that the first Weekly Tune Up discussed expanding your mind through difficult circumstances. So, naturally our first instinct when money is tight is to cut back and contract. This is where we make a big mistake and forget about our purpose as martial artist, which is to help others. Helping others is a lesson in expansion. It creates an opportunity for us to grow when we think we can’t.

That’s really what it is all about. Giving when you think you can’t. Have you ever seen the movie “Pursuit of Happiness” starring Will Smith? Towards the end, Smith’s character is FLAT BROKE and living on the street with his young son. He is in an elite stock brokerage training program that he does not get paid for. After his classes, the top boss, who is obviously rich, needs to take a cab but has no cash. He sees Smith’s character, and being completely unaware of his personal circumstances, casually asks him to borrow $5. Smith’s character nearly sinks in to the floor, slowly opens his wallet, and forks over his last $5. The true story later goes on to show that he gets the big job and eventually becomes a millionaire. Oh, and his boss repaid the $5.
We can get so caught up in the way we feel and the psychology of things that we forget that we live on this planet with other people and that we need to help each other. This coming week, give when you don’t have it. Help when you don’t think you can. Go out of your way for someone when it is totally inconvenient. Give someone your last $5. When it is all said and done, you may be pleasantly surprised.

All the best,
David Alvas

Monday, November 7, 2011

Entitlement

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director



Here’s one I’ve been hearing lots of people talk about lately (I always find it fascinating how things occur in waves).  There’s a buzz going around about how everyone acts and behaves like they are entitled to something.  The interesting thing is, I hear everyone saying how it’s everyone else that has entitlement issues, but not themselves!

The reality is we all have entitlement issues, because we all were born with egos.  We have discussed in previous Tune Ups what ego is, and how to get rid of it, so it may be a good idea to go back and review those after reading this Tune Up.

Entitlement comes from of a place of believing that you are owed something, that you deserve something simply because, well, you deserve it.  It can be in the form of a raise at work, receiving recognition for something you did, being treated a certain way, or being given a responsibility that you believe you have earned.  It also comes in the form of superiority, a sense of “I have so much experience, you should listen to me”.

The worst part of a sense of entitlement is that it leads to a blockage of opportunities because we think we already know the answers to something.  It keeps us closed off from the big picture.  Remember how dangerous this is, because we don’t know what we don’t know.

The way that most of us develop an attitude of entitlement is by constantly doing things that we are comfortable with and never trying anything new.  The repetition of the same things over and over gives us confidence.  But not attempting anything new is a lack of courage and risk taking; both skills are necessary to succeed and overcome our ego.  And here is where we reach the fine line between confidence and entitlement.  We should be confident in the things we do, but we should not cross the line where we believe we are owed something because we possess knowledge.  In fact, it should be the other way around.  When we know, we must share and pass it on. A mature person does not look for praise and recognition.

It is interesting that some of the most respected figures in history all have humility in common.  They received lots of praise for their work, but not because they did the work for praise.  They focused on the “journey” as they say, not the result.

Lastly, remember that we see our own faults in others when we judge.  This is different than when a teacher, for example, has to point out a mistake a student is making to help them along.  That kind of judgment comes from a place of sharing.  Negative judgment comes from our egos attempting to make ourselves feel better by putting others down when we don’t fully understand them.  So when we see someone with “entitlement issues” we just might be looking in the mirror.

If we all choose to work on our own “stuff” we might have more free time to do more important things, instead of clutter our heads and hearts with feelings of judgment and entitlement.  More time to work on the good stuff means we get more good stuff out of life.

Work on the good stuff.

All the best,
David Alvas

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Sticks and Stones…

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director



Remember that expression from when you were a kid that said that words could never hurt you? I don’t know about you, but I didn’t find it to be true. Even as an adult, it takes a lot of work, self-esteem, and discipline to ignore the hurtful words of others.

Gossip is such a powerful negative energy that it can destroy a person’s life. Gossip is as damaging as taking a knife to someone. Would you do that? Take a knife and threaten someone? Probably not. Words carry with them an energy that can make or break someone.

Think about the last time you were not feeling good about something and you sought advice from someone you trusted. After having a conversation with them, you felt much better because of the encouragement and perspective they put in to your situation. Was it not those words that lifted you up and made you feel like you had some control, a possible solution? The same goes for harmful words.

Children will talk. They will gossip. They may make things up. But adults? Are we not supposed to be the teachers? Are we not supposed to be the example? We need to model for our children the path of integrity, honesty, sincerity, and empathy. If your children hear you talk about their teachers poorly, do you think they will go to school and respect their teachers? If you slam your child’s soccer coach in front of your children, do you think they will work hard on the soccer field? Will your children respect their father if they hear you speak negatively about him?

We need to do a better job. We need to care more about others. We need to be more understanding. We need to watch the words that come out of our mouth and ask ourselves if the things that we are saying are really going to make a difference or are they just going to make ME feel better?

Sticks and stones do break bones, and words can cut like a knife. Be mindful of the sensitivity of the human spirit. Are you helping this world or just adding vocal pollution?

All the best,
David Alvas

Friday, September 16, 2011

Winners and Losers

*Tournament Edition*
by Master Instructor David Alvas, Director



With our upcoming Fall Championship fast approaching, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about the spirit of competition in Tang Soo Do, as it relates to winning and losing in life.

Everyone, either currently or at some point in their lives, likes to win medals and trophies.  They are a symbol of accomplishment.  They are ornamental representations of hard work, determination, skill, and countless other adjectives that describe success.  On the other side of the token, I don’t think I have ever met anyone that does back flips when they lose.  That’s not to say I haven’t seen people take losing with a good attitude, but it still hurts.
Why is it that human beings, for the most part, care when we win or lose?  It’s because we are all striving for peace in our lives.  We are looking for that injection of good feelings that will last a long, long time.  Winning provides that feeling, and it can last a while – even a few days or weeks.  But it doesn’t last long enough.  That’s why next time there is an opportunity for success, we will go after it, even if we have already won.

I have seen people walk away from competitions with gold medals around their neck, sometimes even more than one, and find no peace within themselves.  Winners can be losers when you win with the wrong attitude or perception.  If you win first place, and walk away thinking ‘I’m the best’ or ‘no one can beat me’ or even ‘I have nothing left to learn’, then you are walking away a loser and have won nothing and found no peace.  You will not achieve a feeling of humble accomplishment that will stay with you for the rest of your life.  The only thing you will find is an insatiable quest for boosting your ego.  You will never find peace.

I have also witnessed people who win nothing in a competition – not even a participation ribbon – walk over to the winners and shake their hand and say ‘I learned a lot watching you today.  Thank you for being an inspiration for me to do better.’

This person really won the competition.  They went home peacefully and with a good feeling to strive to improve.
The highest form of winning is to walk away from a competition, with or without a medal, and understand the things you did wrong and right, and have the courage to continue to work on it.  A true sign of courage is to continue to walk the path even after bearing defeat.

These are all virtues that can only be learned by experience. There are WORLD lessons in life, and there are WORD lessons.  The concept of winning and losing can only be learned in worldly experience.  And it takes a lot of experience.
For parents, this is a painful thing to watch your children learn.  Our natural instinct as parents is to protect our children from any kind of pain, but WE MUST realize that this is impossible to do all the time and may actually hurt the child greatly in the big picture.   For children to grow up balanced, they must learn how to accept victory with great humility, and defeat with great courage.  This is the spirit of Tang Soo Do that we try to instill in all of our students, young and old.

So how, as parents, can we help children learn these things?  You have to start by talking to them about the concepts, and then making them accountable for their actions.  When they do well, praise them, and tell them how proud you are.  Ask them how they feel.  Ask them what they thought was the best part of the accomplishment.  Ask them what they thought they could improve on.  Then tell them one more time how proud you are.

The tough one is when children, especially younger children, fail at something or don’t get the outcome they expected.  This is hard to watch as a parent.  However, we must be their strength in this time and help them get back up.  They will learn more from picking themselves up than you can imagine.  As long as you are there to encourage them and not make excuses for them, they will get better.  Making excuses when your child fails, and telling them that it was someone else’s fault, will set them up for monumental failure later in life.

To my adult students, when you compete next week, release your ego and compete to learn more about yourself.  More knowledge and understanding of yourself will help bring you more peace.

To the parents of the young students in the school, please share this lesson with your children so they can begin the process of finding peace in their lives.  It is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

All the best,
David Alvas

Friday, September 9, 2011

Weekly Tune UP 9-9-2011

The Value of Commitment
By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director
This was submitted to me by my student, Rose Sheehan.  Rose has been training at USK Karate since 1999 and is a 3rd Dan certified instructor, contributing writer, and advisor to the school.  It has great value in its message:

“In life we all have desires.  There is a gap for most of us on how to actually move daily, within the desire, toward achievement. An often overlooked tool is the concept of making a commitment, and then doing everything required to complete it…even if you want to back out.  Surprises linger behind the energy we put out in the process of completion.  With the correct attitude, we uncover things that only action can unveil.  We change ourselves on a cellular level and thus self expansion can occur.  This is part of the process of self discovery and self mastery.  Commit fully and do not abort the process.   Be prepared to smile about it.
 USK students and families, regular training and commitment to becoming a Dan member is a life enhancing process.  Lessons absorbed by sticking with this commitment and seeing yourselves or your children as Dan members will provide more than physical training and self-defense.  Prepare to honor this commitment and be prepared to smile about it.”

 References:
Scripture: By your steadfastness and patient endurance, you shall win the true life of your souls.  Luke 21:19
Tang Soo Do:  One of the Eight Key Concepts:  In Neh, translated “endure patience”.
Quote:   "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."  Henry Ford

All the best,
David Alvas

Friday, September 2, 2011

Change Your Filters

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director



We have been very busy here in our studio. In all of the busyness, we forgot to change the A/C filters one month. We noticed that it was getting warmer in the studio by the day, until we finally noticed a month too late that the filters had been neglected. When we removed the old filters, they were TOTALLY clogged up and not functioning as intended at all. The filter was so bad that when we dropped the temperature of the A/C to 70 degrees, the room never cooled below 79 degrees. When I went to the store to get new filters, I decided to use a premium filter that would last three months, but still change it once a month. The results were amazing. The room cooled down as it was supposed to within an hour of the temperature being set.

As human beings, we have filters, too. But we can go years, even decades without changing our filters. Our filters are things like our perception of ourselves, others; even the food we eat. Imagine what kind of effects it can have on our mind, body, and spirit if we do not keep our filters clean of negative energy and impurities. We can’t function efficiently and be as productive.

How do we ‘change our filters’? The next time you feel like gossiping, say something nice instead. The next time you feel like you are going to blow up, walk away and breathe. When you feel like you are making an impulse decision, step back and take some time.

Most importantly, treat others with love and respect and realize that everyone, EVERYONE has something to teach.

Have a squeaky clean week!

All the best,

David Alvas


Friday, August 5, 2011

E+R=O Event + Response = Outcome

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

Patrick and Rose Sheehan, two of my most senior adult students, shared this with me. It’s by Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series. Enjoy!

“The basic idea is that every outcome you experience in life (whether it is success or failure, wealth or poverty, health or illness, intimacy or estrangement, joy or frustration) is the result of how you have responded to an earlier event or events in your life.

If you don’t like the outcomes you are currently getting, there are two basic choices you can make.

  1. You can blame the event (E) for your lack of results (O). In other words, you can blame the economy, the weather, the lack of money, your lack of education, racism, gender bias, the current administration in Washington, your wife or husband, your boss’ attitude, the lack of support, the political climate, the system of lack of systems, and so on. If you’re a golfer, you’ve probably even blamed your clubs and the course you played on. No doubt all these factors do exist, but if they were the deciding factor, nobody would ever succeed.

Jackie Robinson would never have played major league baseball, Sidney Poitier and Denzel Washington would have never become movie stars, Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer would never have become U.S. Senators, Erin Brockovich would never have uncovered PG&E’s contamination of the water in Hinkley, California, Bill Gates would never have founded Microsoft and Steve Jobes would never have started Apple Computers. For every reason why it’s not possible, there are hundreds of people who have faced the same circumstances and succeeded.

Lots of people overcome these so-called limiting factors, so it can’t be the limiting factors that limit you. It’s not the external conditions and circumstances that stop you- it’s you! We stop ourselves! We think limiting thoughts and engage in self-defeating behaviors. We defend our self-destructive habits (such as drinking and smoking) with indefensible logic. We ignore useful feedback, fail to continuously educate ourselves and learn new skills, waste time on the trivial aspects of our lives, engage in idle gossip, eat unhealthy food, fail to exercise, spend more money than we make, fail to invest in our future, avoid necessary conflict, fail to tell the truth, don’t ask for what we want-then wonder why our lives don’t work. But this, by the way, is what most people do. They place the blame for everything that isn’t the way they want it on outside events and circumstances. They have an excuse for everything.

2. You can instead simply change your responses (R) to the events (E)-the way things are-until you get the outcomes (O) you want.

You can change your thinking, change your communication, change the pictures you hold in your head (your images of yourself and the world)-and you can change your behavior-the things you do. That is all you really have control over anyway. Unfortunately, most of us are so run by our habits that we never change our behavior. We get stuck in our conditioned responses-to our spouses and our children, to our colleagues at work, to our customers and our clients, to our students, and to the world at large. We are a bundle of conditioned reflexes that operate outside of our control. You have to regain control of your thoughts, your images, your dreams and daydreams, and your behavior.

Everything you think, say and do needs to become intentional and aligned with your purpose, your values, and your goals.”

Have a great week tweaking your success formula!

All the best,

David Alvas

Friday, July 1, 2011

Weekly Tune UP 7-1-11

Weekly Tune Up

Re-Creation

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

Summer is the time for fun! Families do their best to take trips together, go camping, barbeque on the weekends, and head to the beach. We try to take advantage of the summer months for recreation.

When you look at the word recreation, you will notice that it can be broken down in to re-creation; in other words, time to re-create ourselves and unwind - spiritually, mentally, and physically.

In martial arts we talk a lot about balance and the cycles of nature. We study how nature balances out all things. Forests get struck by lightning and catch fire, only to be reborn again with fertile soil. Hurricanes balance the oceans, and cleanse the land (although our existence on the land makes hurricanes a ‘bad’ thing, even though it’s a natural part of nature). The point is that nature takes time to take care of itself and remain in perfect balance, alignment, and harmony.

We use vacations the same way. We take time to unwind, relax, read a good book, go out to a nice dinner, and spend time with the ones we love. This process relaxes the body and mind and allows new energy to flow through us. This positive energy rejuvenates and inspires us, and gives us motivation to keep creating our lives and moving forward.

The key, however, to fully realize the potential of re-creating ourselves, is in being in the moment. How many times have you been on vacation, and spent the entire trip counting the days until you had to return to work? Not very fun and rejuvenating, is it? That’s because we are not living in the present when we have to grumble over counting the days until work starts again. Be in the moment. Be with your family and friends, not in your negative thoughts and back at work. The work can wait and will be there when you return.

If you can be in the moment this summer, and balance out all of that hard work you’ve been doing with some relaxation and fresh energy, you will be able to better re-create yourself, and bring out the new and improved you.

All the best,

David Alvas

Monday, June 13, 2011

Weekly Tune Up 6-10-11

“Flexible Growth”

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

“Effort is an expression of a deep desire in the soul. It is part of our process in this lifetime. We do not ride a bike the first time we try, and the same principle applies to our spiritual growth. “

-Yehuda Berg

Martial arts share this same wise standard. Our personal growth (meaning spiritual, mental, and physical) is not a direct line to ‘the top’. It is a constantly expanding and contracting journey of success’ and failures. Usually, it’s the failures that push us to the top. Success is a result of our ability to overcome failure with courage, focus, endurance, resilience, and flexibility.

Flexibility is not one of the words you see in the dictionary next to the definition of a champion, but it should be. Learning to see others feelings and adapt to them is an important part of being successful. Learning to see how others view you is also important. Both help you to understand others. This is similar to a professional sports team studying film on another team in an effort to understand them better. When people understand each other, it is easier to achieve peace.

A big question I get all of the time is about flexibility and children. How can you be flexible with your child but still help them to be happy and achieve their goals? It starts with asking yourself as a parent some questions:

1) Am I being firm and fair, but fun? (Kids require this critical balance for growth. If you are firm and fair, but not fun in your approach to learning, they will lose interest in what you are trying to teach them).

2) Why am I requiring this of my child? (You are not a bad parent if you make them do something that is in their best immediate and long term interest. If you are making them do something because you want to relive a part of your childhood through them that you did not get a chance to do, you may want to rethink the requirement.)

3) Is this in the highest and best interest of my child? (If it is, NEVER feel guilty about making them do it. They will thank you when they are older. And if they never thank you, you will get your reward in watching the positive behaviors and attributes you helped to instill in them.) I know I thanked my parents for the things they “made” me do.

Being flexible as a parent is tough, and as they say, kids don’t come with a manual. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there with great wisdom and experience who can help you bring out the best in yourself and your children. Knowing when to be flexible and when to hold firm makes a huge difference. Hopefully the three questions above will help you to search yourself and find the answers you are looking for.

All the best,

David Alvas

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Weekly Tune Up 5/28/2011

Pick Me Ups!

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director


Every now and then, some good quotes are what the soul needs to carry on in difficult times, move to the next level, or just plain inspiration. Here are some of my favorites. Enjoy!

“Discipline goes beyond our personal desires.”

–Kee Hwang, Founder of Tang Soo Do/Soo Bahk Do Moo Duk Kwan

“G-d, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

-Unknown

“The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.”

-Randy Pausch

“DO – YOUR – JOB. If all of you do your jobs, you will be champions at the end of this game.”

-Bill Bellichick, 3X Super Bowl Head Coach of the New England Patriots

“Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You may not get what you want, but in the long run you will get what you expect.

-Denis Waitley

“He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander.”

-Aristotle

“Rough seas make for skilled sailors.”

-Unknown

“Men's best successes come after their disappointments.”

-Henry Ward Beecher

“All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.”

-T.E. Lawrence

Enjoy the holiday weekend with your family and friends.

All the best,

David Alvas

Friday, May 20, 2011

Weekly Tune Up 5/19/2011


RESPONSE-ABILITY

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

I would like to share with everyone something I have learned that has impacted my life greatly, as well as the lives of my most senior students.

Responsibility has become a cliché term in the martial arts world. Drive around and look at the store fronts of most martial arts schools, and you will probably find this word in big vinyl letters glued to the windows. But what does it really mean to be responsible? Talking about the word does not give it any life. It must become an action-philosophy. This simply means that we give life to a philosophy by putting it into action.

Let’s start by identifying what responsibility IS NOT. Someone once said that “irresponsibility is not honoring the best version of yourself.” This is important because it suggests that we have to be accountable to ourselves first. People may never know some of the things that you do, BUT YOU WILL. You are the one who has to sleep with it at night.

Being responsible for yourself and others has a lot to do with your ability to not react when something happens to you that you normally would react to. If you break down the word responsibility, you get two new words: RESPONSE and ABILITY. Your ability to respond to situations in a proactive manner determines the outcome. Reacting to a situation is not conscious and therefore leads to no transformation for you or the issue you are trying to resolve.

Remember that becoming the best version of yourself means BEING the best version of yourself. To accomplish this, learn to transform from a reactive being to a proactive being, one moment at a time. That is what it truly means to be responsible.

What is your response-ability?

All the best,

David Alvas

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Weekly Tune Up 5/10/2011

Don’t Give Away the Answer

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director


Most of you have probably experienced that when you give someone advice, they often choose not to receive it and use it. They nod their heads and stay quiet as you explain to them what it is they need to do, say thank you, and go on with their business. Sometime later, when you see them again, you ask them how things are going, and they tell you they are stuck in the same place.

Why is that? Why do people not take advice, even when they ask for it?

We are a species of hard and slow change. We need to burn our hands on the stove to stop touching the stove, even if mom and dad warned us of the certain damage it would cause. This is because we innately need to manifest our sense of ownership over our actions and our work. We need to be the cause of our successes, AND OUR FAILURES. Failure can sometimes be the best teacher.

Think about it. Have you ever heard someone brag about a mistake they made in the past to demonstrate how much they have learned and how far they have come? It’s as if they are almost proud of the mistake, because it opened their eyes to a higher wisdom. However, this only works when you make a mistake and are open to receiving the lesson of the mistake. Most of us make the same mistakes over and over again because we are missing the root message, or are simply not in a place in our lives to make the correction yet.

When people ask for advice, they are really asking to be heard. They are asking for guidance, and guidance and advice are NOT the same things. In order to give guidance, you must be able to relate to and feel a person’s pain. People will allow you to help them if they feel you have experienced what they are experiencing. A wise guide asks questions that lead to a result that is discovered by the person in need. This way, the person asking for “advice” finds the answer for themselves, and takes ownership of that answer, because they are proud of the fact that they discovered the answer. It wasn’t given to them on a silver platter.

Major corporations like Toyota have found that promoting someone too quickly to a high level position in the company almost always results in failure because the employee did not earn ownership of the company by working their way up the ladder. They did not experience all of the hardship and lessons each small step up the ladder brings.

This week, when someone asks for advice, try asking questions instead of telling them what to do. They may just find the answer on their own.

It is also important to have the courage to admit when you don’t know the answer or the right questions to ask. If you don’t know how to help them, just listen and connect with their pain. Saying ‘I don’t know the answer’ can be powerful for both of you.

All the best,

David Alvas

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Weekly Tune Up 4/7/2011

Two Questions

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

I watched The Bucket List on TV a few nights ago. It is a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman about two mature men who have been given the news that they both are terminally ill, and together, decide that they are going to go out in style by creating a list of all the things they want to accomplish before they move on from this world.

While executing their dynamic and dramatic list, both Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman’s characters are in Egypt sitting on one of the great pyramids, embracing life’s miracles, when Morgan Freeman’s character engages in a deep conversation with his friend. He asks him two questions that struck a chord in me:

1) Did you find joy in your life?

2) Has your life brought joy to others?

This week, I thought I would pass along these questions for everyone to contemplate. They might just change your direction.

All the best,

David Alvas

Friday, April 1, 2011

Weekly Tune Up 4/1/2011

Weekly Tune Up

“The Mirror That Never Lies”

By Dennis Merrit Jones

I came across this article that is in alignment with my previous Tune Ups. I would like to pass it along. Enjoy!

"Projection always hides a feeling you don't want to look at. If you examine any negative trait you insist is present in another person, you will find that same trait hiding in yourself. The more you deny this trait, the more strongly you will have to project it." ~ Dr. Deepak Chopra

Sometimes I amaze myself with how much more I have to learn about practicing what I have been “teaching and preaching” for more than a quarter of a century. Occasionally I come across an individual with whom I have an instantaneous negative reaction--something arises within me that wants to get away from that person's energy immediately. This happened at lunch yesterday in a restaurant when I was seated at a table directly next to a person who was talking incessantly in an exceedingly loud, invasive, grating, penetrating voice, that dominated the entire room. I am aware that this disturbed me because my soul is on a perpetual quest for peace and stillness, even when I am dinning out.

Now here’s the sticky part for me: If Deepak Chopra is correct in the quote at the top of this message (and he is), every person in my life is serving as a mirror that never lies, including the person described in restaurant scenario. Really? What part of me could possibly be that way? OMG! After some serious self inquiry it became clear that, at times, the exceedingly loud, grating, penetrating voice, that incessantly dominates the conversation while never taking a breath, is the internal voice in my head, especially when I am trying to “feed” myself spiritually by meditating or reading a complex passage in a book. The “takeaway” for me is to pay more attention to that voice and learn better how to make peace with it rather than react to it with irritation, unsuccessfully trying to push it away or avoid what it it saying. When I do listen to that voice and gently acknowledge it, it quiets down all on its own. Go figure--what you resist, persists.

The moral of the story is, when I am willing to catch myself red-handed in the judgment of others, realizing that ultimately the person whom I am really judging is myself, the awareness I need most comes flooding in. The lesson is, the more a person offends me, the deeper the trigger point lies within myself. If it were not so, that person’s presence would have no affect upon me whatsoever. What a great opportunity every person offers me to heal some aspect of my own being when I am open, aware and teachable. Well, now that I have told on myself, how about you; upon whom might you tend to project your less than desirable traits? As an example, maybe your teacher is the person standing on the corner with a sign asking for money, offering you an opportunity to get in touch with how you feel about sharing your good with others, or a perhaps a fear about lack in your own life you don’t want to face. The lessons will vary because our teachers are legion; every human being is our potential teacher if we are willing to receive the lesson they bring to us. If we are open and paying attention the right teacher always seems to appear at the right moment.

In those moments of ego projection, if we are willing to take a deep breath and peek into our mind we may be stunned by the findings: Remaining open to being taught by someone who, by our judgment, is offensive, or somehow not behaving in a manner we think they should, is not always easy, but it is possible. When we have the courage to stay the course of conscious self-inquiry with a willingness to learn the lesson at hand, the barriers usually melt away, our judgment dissolves, and we receive the understanding about ourselves our teacher has to offer.

Give thanks for your master teachers each day. You will discover any projection usually centers on a need to love yourself and others more, and judge yourself and others less. As a mindfulness practice today, become the observer of your thoughts and judgments about others. Don't allow any thought, positive or negative, about another to slip by unnoticed. When that person offers you a rare glimpse into yourself, smile and silently say, "Thank you.” Take the lesson that is being offered you and see how it applies in your life. Remember, you are also a reflection in their eyes. May they realize that the gentle and loving Spirit they see in you is a but reflection of their own divine nature. The mirror never lies.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Weekly Tune Up 3/25/2011

Getting Comfortable with Uncomfortable

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

Learning how to embrace discomfort for the opportunities it possesses is invaluable and life changing. We get so caught up in trying to make our lives comfortable that we forget what we have to go through in life to earn comfort.

No soccer team has won the world cup without grinding through countless workouts. No football team has won the Super Bowl without experiencing tremendous challenges. No baseball team has won the World Series without overcoming the odds. We all have to do things we don’t like or aren’t used to in order to get to our destinations.

Let’s take a brief look at why we, as a species, have such a hard time with doing the uncomfortable. We all have ego. Ego is what tells us what we are good at and what we are not good at. It also tells us what will make us look good and what will embarrass us. It tells us that we are too old or too young to try something. Anytime we are faced with something that we don’t perceive to be “normal” to us, we get a knot in our stomach and our ego kicks in and says ‘don’t do that!’

Ego also controls judgment, a built in self-sabotaging mechanism that tells us that we are better or worse than someone else. Judgment is one of the strongest negative energies that repels us from trying new things. It also happens to be one of the hardest things to remove from our consciousness, and therefore, when it is removed, gives us the most potential for achieving our goals. It’s a simple rule: the harder something is to overcome, the more light (joy, happiness, prosperity, abundance, etc.) it brings in to your life when you conquer it.

If we are not trying new things, we are not abolishing our ego. If we are not doing the impossible, then we are judging ourselves.

I have seen people with no legs run marathons. I have seen blind people walk around a room like they have 20/20 vision. I have seen children with autism lead a professional symphony. Why? Because they decided to, and had no space in their lives for judgment and ego.

Don’t concern yourself with what others think. Sometimes, don’t concern yourself with what you think! Just do it. Especially in tomorrow’s tournament.

All the best,

David Alvas

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Weekly Tune Up 3/10/2011

Follow up to Master David Alvas’ “Raising Children” Tune Up

Part II:

10 Secrets to Get Your Kids to Eat More Fruits and Veggies

So, what else can you do when your child refuses to eat anything green and seems to subsist on chicken-fingers and French fries alone?

1) Educate your kids about nutrition. The more they know the easier it will be to guide them into making good choices. Remember how smart kids really are. Don’t sell them short. If they enjoy sports, are interested in beauty, or want more energy, teach them how the foods they eat will help them do what matters to them most.

2) Make food preparation a family affair. The more you involve your kids in the preparation and selection of meals and snacks, the more willing they are to try healthy foods. Even a simple trip to the grocery store to allow them to pick out the fruits and vegetables for the week (each child in the family should get his/her own choice) can make a world of difference. Let older children find recipes online that sound good to them using healthy foods. Allow them to choose how the vegetable of the day is prepared and even help in the preparation.

3) Have a make-your-own smoothie party. Fill bowls with various ingredients, such as berries, mango, spinach, broccoli, flax or chia seeds, and let kids pick what they want. They can even turn the blender on! They love to be in control!

4) Make your own salad. The same trick will work for salads. But don’t just include lettuce. Use seeds, fruit, dried peas—anything goes!

5) Let them dip. Make a dip like hummus or use a healthy store-bought version and watch them eat string beans, carrots, celery, cucumbers, and any other veggie that you cut into strips for dipping.

6) Make veggie and fruit shapes. Thinly slice carrots and cucumbers and use tiny cookie cutters to make shapes. Everything is more fun when it’s in a shape (think silly bands).

7) Make a vegetarian soup at least one night of the week. Pureed soups are great because you can’t see what’s in them (kale is easy to use this way). You’ll be amazed what they’ll eat when it’s been whizzed in the blender or mixed with an immersion blender.

8) Remember that food preferences are formed by one’s environment and taste is a learned phenomenon. In fact, studies show it take 8-15 times before a child accepts a new food. Try a different way of preparing the same food. Once you find a way that your child likes that food, you can branch out and experiment with it because their taste buds have already adjusted to it. Food preferences and tastes are formed early in life, so it is important to introduce your children to a variety of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.

9) Don't make excuses. Don't say, "My kid only eats chicken fingers." He/she is not purchasing those chicken fingers with his/her allowance. You make the rules in your house. You purchase the food. Don't buy the junk! Kids are born with survival instincts. They will not starve themselves. True hunger is difficult to deny, and when children are faced only with healthy food options their natural hunger will drive them to eat the healthy foods available, without bribing, coercing or any other schemes. Scientific research shows that children most often take on the eating habits of their parents. Once they realize that there are no other options, they will eat, and then they will begin to change their habits. So will you.

10)Lead by example. If you permit only healthy foods in the house the entire family will learn to eat properly. You can't tell your children to eat broccoli while you are eating French fries. You must show them how to eat by doing it yourself. The entire family needs to eat the same foods at mealtime. The food that is being served is the only option. Include a number of choices so that children maintain some feeling of autonomy in what they eat, but NEVER make a separate kids’ meal or allow them to order off of the kids’ menus at a restaurant. Mealtime is a communal, family time—a time to come together. Let that attitude be reflected in the sharing of the meal. Kids’ menus are rife with terrible food. Stay away from them an order from the sides for your kids or share what you order (the portions are usually too big for one adult anyway).

About the Contributing Authors: Frustrated by the lack of a healthy, smart, cool role model for their five and six year-old children, Hillary Feerick and Jeff Hillenbrand created the Mitch Spinach children’s book series. They decided to combine their expertise (Jeff holds a BS in Exercise Physiology, and Hillary holds a BA and MA in English) to teach kids about the importance of eating healthy foods and reduce the number of children struggling with weight, chronic colds, ear infections and other nutrition-related problems.

The Secret Life of Mitch Spinach was written in collaboration with renowned, board-certified family physician, Joel Fuhrman, M.D., who specializes in preventing and reversing disease through nutritional and natural methods.

To get kids on the right track with healthy eating, pick up a copy at USK Karate. You can also learn more nutritional information and order online through this link: https://www.mitchspinach.com/affiliate/337.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Weekly Tune Up 3/3/2011

Follow-up to Master Alvas’ “Raising Children” Tune Up

Part I: Are We Unknowingly Making Our Children Sick?

As parents, we want what is best for our children. We are, as Master Alvas has pointed out, the custodians of their future, even if preparing them for the world at large means enforcing rules. We take the role of protecting our children very seriously, and we would never intentionally harm them. We read to them at bedtime, insist that they wear their seatbelts, but when it comes to food, somehow we falter.

In fact, we have failed so significantly to nourish our children that the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) has predicted that this is the first generation of children that will NOT outlive their parents. We notice that our children are frequently ill, suffering from recurring ear infections, runny noses, stomachaches, headaches, allergies, asthma, strep throats, attention deficit hyperactivity disorders (ADD or ADHD), and even autoimmune diseases. The doctor prescribes yet another round of antibiotics. All this is normal for children —right?

Wrong! Our children have gradually become “picky eaters” and only eat pizza, pasta, hamburgers, chicken fingers or candy and chips. The busyness of today’s world overwhelms us; we shuttle kids from school to activities, trying to get the homework done and find ourselves with no time to prepare proper meals. We rely on fast-food or frozen foods instead of providing our children with the nutrition they need without realizing the effect that food can have on a child’s developing body. As a result, the number of obese and overweight children has tripled in the last thirty years, and the number of cases of type 2 diabetes (a disease once called “adult onset diabetes”) has increased at an alarming rate.

But what if our children are not overweight? Is this pattern of eating junk food in place of fruits and vegetables really setting our children up for disease? The results reported by the 1992 Bogalusa Heart Study, which studied autopsies performed on children killed in accidental deaths, confirmed that most children and teenagers already had significant plaque buildup in their arteries! Unfortunately, heart disease often goes undetected, giving it the common label, the silent killer. American children consume less than 2% of their diet from natural plant foods such as fruits and vegetables. Amazingly, about 25% of toddlers between ages one and two eat no fruits and vegetables at all. By the time American children are 15 months old, French fries have become their most commonly consumed vegetable! They move into adulthood eating 90% of their calories from dairy products, white flour, sugar, and oil.

While we have educated our children about the dangers of smoking cigarettes and the use of recreational drugs, we just don’t realize how damaging eating foods on the kids’ menu really is! In fact, The World Health Organization (WHO) has recently stated that more people die today from eating a diet full of junk and processed foods than from cigarette and illegal drug use combined. We wouldn’t allow our children to sit at the table, smoking and drinking, but we don’t think twice about regularly giving them cola, fries and cheeseburgers, foods that are shockingly more harmful. Many parents do not grasp how detrimental these eating patterns really are. Although we would never mean to do anything to hurt our children, every day we are unknowingly causing significant harm.

Because the modern childhood diet creates an environment for cancer to emerge at a later age, trying to prevent breast, prostate and other cancers in adults may not be possible. In other words, childhood diets create adult cancers. That’s right: when our children don’t eat a diet rich in fruits and vegetables and instead eat processed foods and junk food, the groundwork may be laid for cancer and other diseases.

The good news is that scientific research has demonstrated that humans have an extremely powerful immune system. Our bodies are self-repairing, self-defending organisms. Ear infections, strep throats, allergies, attention deficit hyperactivity disorders (ADD or ADHD), and even autoimmune diseases can be prevented by sound nutritional practices early in life.

However, WE have to take control. We must realize that making excuses such as “my son only eats chicken fingers and French fries” is a form of negligence on our part. Children’s eating habits are DIRECTLY influenced by our own and are completely dependent on what we feed them, because—remember—they don’t do the food shopping. As the guardians of our children’s health, we are also the guardians of their eating habits. We have the power to save our children from a life of disease if we choose to provide them with food that will nourish them properly. The truth is that all of our efforts to give our children the best of everything will be in vain if they lead lives of poor health. We need to transfer the passion, discipline, and love that we put into rearing our children to the breakfast, lunch and dinner table.

Stay tuned for Part II:

10 Secrets to Get Your Kids to Eat More Fruits and Veggies

About the Contributing Authors: Frustrated by the lack of a healthy, smart, cool role model for their five and six year-old children, Hillary Feerick and Jeff Hillenbrand created the Mitch Spinach children’s book series. They decided to combine their expertise (Jeff holds a BS in Exercise Physiology, and Hillary holds a BA and MA in English) to teach kids about the importance of eating healthy foods and reduce the number of children struggling with weight, chronic colds, ear infections and other nutrition-related problems.

The Secret Life of Mitch Spinach was written in collaboration with renowned, board-certified family physician, Joel Fuhrman, M.D., who specializes in preventing and reversing disease through nutritional and natural methods.

To get kids on the right track with healthy eating, pick up a copy at USK Karate. You can also learn more nutritional information and order online through this link: http://www.MitchSpinach.com/.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Weekly Tune Up - Vacuum of Opportunity



By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director


This week, my staff has been teaching some great classes. They have been focusing their lessons on perspective. I found this inspiring and want to elaborate on this in a more specific fashion regarding failure.

Failure is not a “thing” you can put your hands on. As a matter of fact, failure doesn’t exist. Just like black is the absence of all colors, failure is the absence of success.

When a person fails at something, it almost always is painful. This pain makes us feel like we have a vacuum inside of us, sucking away at our happiness. But if we change our perspective, and look at a vacuum as an attraction, something pulling into our lives, and not just empty space, a vacuum becomes an opportunity.  It becomes an opportunity to attract.

So, when you fail at something, you automatically start attracting something. What you attract is up to you. If you make excuses for your failure and become defensive about it, you attract further failure. If you look at failure as an opportunity for growth and success, that is what you will attract.

Just as outer space is a vacuum with boundless opportunities, so is failure. Failing creates space inside us for growth. What you fill that vacuum with, that space, is up to you.

This week, spend some time looking back at what you failed at and find the opportunity. It could be a mean thing you said, a complement you never gave, or a test in school you did not pass.

All the best,
David Alvas

Monday, February 14, 2011

USK Karate Academy Technical Tip Series - Defensive Hip

Weekly Tune Up - Install Your Updates

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

Have you every turned on your computer or booted up a program when you need to get some important work done, only to be interrupted by a message telling you that you have updates that must be installed?  Then the computer proceeds to tell you that while the updates are being installed, you have to shut down all other programs or applications.  Finally, the computer tells you that after the installation of the updates, you must restart the computer.

Annoying, right?  You have work to do, not time to install updates!

Let’s take this analogy and apply it to life.  You probably read my Tune Ups every week, along with other important “self-help” messages, and sometimes just feel overwhelmed.  Maybe you don’t have the time right now to stop and “install the updates”.  Maybe you are doing something more pressing that requires your undivided attention.  It’s ok.  You can install the updates later, when you are ready.

In martial arts, we embrace the philosophy that people will shift (change) when they are ready.  We make room for that in this school.  That is why everyone proceeds at their own pace.

Everyone is ready for different messages at different times in their life. Open and install your updates when you are ready.

All the best,
David Alvas

Friday, January 28, 2011

Weekly Tune Up

Practicing Expansion in Challenging Moments
By Master David Alvas, Director

In the martial arts, we talk a lot about expansion and contraction as it relates to technique. We focus on how the body works, how it moves, and how it FEELS when it moves. We spend a lot of time on our state of mind during our training so that we can better develop our mind-body connection.

When a student is injured, we teach them how to expand past their injury with different types of breathing and a solid intention to move forward and grow from their setbacks.

The same can be achieved in our everyday lives. When bad news hits, our first response tends to be a contraction, a tightening up. We say to our selves “This can’t be happening!” We feel paralyzed. It is important that in this moment, we transform paralysis into proactive, productive action. Go completely into that moment and try to understand exactly what you are feeling and find the opportunity in the experience. If you look, you will find it. This will allow you to grow and to make better decisions down the line. Do everything you can to expand your thinking past the problem. We can never find a solution if we are focused on the problem, we must focus on the solution. When our minds learn to focus on finding the answers in challenging times rather than letting the situation paralyze us, only good things can happen. It may not always be what you want, but it will be what you need.

So take many deep breaths, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth, and focus on expanding your mind to find the solution.

Trust me, it is there.

Are you looking with the correct intention?

All the best,
David Alvas

Monday, January 17, 2011

Weekly Tune Up - Raising Children

Weekly Tune Up
Raising Children
By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

Year after year, I sit down and talk with parents in my school about the joys and challenges of raising kids.  This tune up is geared for parents, with some great wisdom that has been passed down to me from people of great experience and success raising children. 
One of the biggest concerns that I hear about daily from parents is the fear of pushing or making their children do something they don’t want to do.  In order for us to address this, we have to back track a little and examine some facts about human nature:
1)     Most people don’t like the idea of change.  Most people view it as negative rather than an opportunity for growth.  Unfortunately, most people stay programmed this way their entire lives.
2)      Children actually deal better with change than adults.   They still feel stress, they feel anxiety, and their feelings change momentarily, just like an adult.  And yes, parents, to a child, their “problems” are just as important and stressful to them as yours are to you.
3)     The difference between an adult and a child is that an adult has had more time to figure out how to keep their feelings in check, and how to put others first, especially if they’re a parent or teacher.
4)     Adults have had more time to identify priorities, and then make the necessary sacrifices to fulfill those priorities.
5)     Adults have the capacity to envision many different futures and understand that consequences of what happens today effects and shapes tomorrow.
It is really important to understand that a parent’s job is not to be their child’s friend (although you should be friendly with them).  You are their leaders.  You are their teachers.  And yes, you are their disciplinarians.  My instructor used to say all the time that a parent is the custodian of a child’s future.  And, as a custodian, it means you must do everything it takes to prepare them for life on their own.
As an adult, you understand how challenging it is to navigate life.  You see, on a daily basis, what the ups and downs are, and that some of the ups are really good, and that some of the downs can be really bad.
Do you want your child to be able to handle life’s challenges and successes when they are finally independent?
Here is some suggestions:
1)     Remember that your first job as a parent is to love your child and get them ready for adulthood.
2)     Getting a child ready for adulthood means sacrifices on your part.  Big ones. Especially emotionally.
3)     If you have to discipline your child to ensure that they learn a valuable lesson and it hurts you like hell, it’s OK.  The pain will subside soon for the both of you. 
4)     YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON IF YOU DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD AND THEY GET UPSET.  It is a natural reaction on their part to want what they want, and when they don’t get it, to let you know they are displeased. Theirs is the pain of frustration and incomplete understanding.  Learning to tolerate the frustration is part of healthy normal development, in fact it is essential.  Just think of how much frustration YOU have had to learn to cope with to be successful!
5)     IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO MAKE YOUR CHILDREN HAPPY ALL OF THE TIME.  YOUR JOB IS TO GIVE THEM THE TOOLS NECESSARY TO CREATE THEIR OWN HAPPINESS FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.
This doesn’t mean that you should not have tons of fun with your children, love your children, and help them to fill their lives with joy. In fact YOU SHOULD.  It boils down to your level of self-discipline and ability to do what is necessary today to ensure their well being tomorrow.  Kids will cry, they will get upset, and they will throw tantrums.  It is part of them working out their issues and learning priorities, boundaries, and structure.
Ask yourself this question every time you are “forcing” your kids to do something:
 If you are making them do something, is it because you want it, or because it will help them learn something valuable they will need for the rest of their lives?
For example, are you making your children play baseball because you want them to live the dream you never could, or because there is something they need to learn from the game?
Children are not here to live our dreams.  They need to have their own.
Simple question, yet not always easy to find the answer.  Answering this question will require you to do some soul searching.     
Always put the child’s future first.  Try to avoid the instant gratification of giving them what they want right now.  They will thank you for it when they are older.
All the best,
David Alvas

USK Karate Technical Tip - Stances


Watch as Master Instructor David Alvas describes key points to remember regarding the completion of your most fundamental stances.