“Flexible Growth”
By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director
-Yehuda Berg
Martial arts share this same wise standard. Our personal growth (meaning spiritual, mental, and physical) is not a direct line to ‘the top’. It is a constantly expanding and contracting journey of success’ and failures. Usually, it’s the failures that push us to the top. Success is a result of our ability to overcome failure with courage, focus, endurance, resilience, and flexibility.
Flexibility is not one of the words you see in the dictionary next to the definition of a champion, but it should be. Learning to see others feelings and adapt to them is an important part of being successful. Learning to see how others view you is also important. Both help you to understand others. This is similar to a professional sports team studying film on another team in an effort to understand them better. When people understand each other, it is easier to achieve peace.
A big question I get all of the time is about flexibility and children. How can you be flexible with your child but still help them to be happy and achieve their goals? It starts with asking yourself as a parent some questions:
1) Am I being firm and fair, but fun? (Kids require this critical balance for growth. If you are firm and fair, but not fun in your approach to learning, they will lose interest in what you are trying to teach them).
2) Why am I requiring this of my child? (You are not a bad parent if you make them do something that is in their best immediate and long term interest. If you are making them do something because you want to relive a part of your childhood through them that you did not get a chance to do, you may want to rethink the requirement.)
3) Is this in the highest and best interest of my child? (If it is, NEVER feel guilty about making them do it. They will thank you when they are older. And if they never thank you, you will get your reward in watching the positive behaviors and attributes you helped to instill in them.) I know I thanked my parents for the things they “made” me do.
Being flexible as a parent is tough, and as they say, kids don’t come with a manual. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there with great wisdom and experience who can help you bring out the best in yourself and your children. Knowing when to be flexible and when to hold firm makes a huge difference. Hopefully the three questions above will help you to search yourself and find the answers you are looking for.
All the best,
David Alvas
