RESPONSE-ABILITY

I would like to share with everyone something I have learned that has impacted my life greatly, as well as the lives of my most senior students.

Responsibility has become a cliché term in the martial arts world. Drive around and look at the store fronts of most martial arts schools, and you will probably find this word in big vinyl letters glued to the windows. But what does it really mean to be responsible? Talking about the word does not give it life. It must become an action-philosophy. This simply means that we give purpose and meaning to a philosophy by putting it into action.

Let’s start by identifying what responsibility IS NOT. Someone once said that “irresponsibility is not honoring the best version of yourself.” This is important because it suggests that we have to be accountable to ourselves first. People may never know some of the things that you do, BUT YOU WILL. You’re the one who has to sleep with it at night.

Being responsible for yourself and others has a lot to do with your ability to not react when something happens to you that you normally would react to. If you break down the word responsibility, you get two new words: RESPONSE and ABILITY. Your ability to respond to situations in a proactive manner determines the outcome. Reacting to a situation is not a conscious effort and therefore leads to no transformation for you or the issue you are trying to resolve.

Remember that becoming the best version of yourself means BEING the best version of yourself. To accomplish this, learn to transform from a reactive being to a proactive being, one moment at a time. That is what it truly means to be responsible.
What is your response-ability?

All the best,
David Alvas

Your Last Five Bucks

Charity is a vital part of our growth as human beings. The last few years have been very trying for millions of American families. We have cut back on most everything, and we take much longer to make a decision about spending money (that is a good thing). One of the hardest hit areas in our country, which is always hit hard when there is a financial crisis, is charity. After all, we have to take care of ourselves first before we can help others, right?

Not always. You may remember that the first Weekly Tune Up discussed expanding your mind through difficult circumstances. So, naturally our first instinct when money is tight is to cut back and contract. This is where we make a big mistake and forget about our purpose as martial artist, which is to help others. Helping others is a lesson in expansion. It creates an opportunity for us to grow when we think we can’t.

That’s really what it is all about. Giving when you think you can’t. Have you ever seen the movie “Pursuit of Happiness” starring Will Smith? Towards the end, Smith’s character is FLAT BROKE and living on the street with his young son. He is in an elite stock brokerage training program that he does not get paid for. After his classes, the top boss, who is obviously rich, needs to take a cab but has no cash. He sees Smith’s character, and being completely unaware of his personal circumstances, casually asks him to borrow $5. Smith’s character nearly sinks in to the floor, slowly opens his wallet, and forks over his last $5. The true story later goes on to show that he gets the big job and eventually becomes a millionaire. Oh, and his boss repaid the $5.
We can get so caught up in the way we feel and the psychology of things that we forget that we live on this planet with other people and that we need to help each other. This coming week, give when you don’t have it. Help when you don’t think you can. Go out of your way for someone when it is totally inconvenient. Give someone your last $5. When it is all said and done, you may be pleasantly surprised.

All the best,
David Alvas

Entitlement

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director



Here’s one I’ve been hearing lots of people talk about lately (I always find it fascinating how things occur in waves).  There’s a buzz going around about how everyone acts and behaves like they are entitled to something.  The interesting thing is, I hear everyone saying how it’s everyone else that has entitlement issues, but not themselves!

The reality is we all have entitlement issues, because we all were born with egos.  We have discussed in previous Tune Ups what ego is, and how to get rid of it, so it may be a good idea to go back and review those after reading this Tune Up.

Entitlement comes from of a place of believing that you are owed something, that you deserve something simply because, well, you deserve it.  It can be in the form of a raise at work, receiving recognition for something you did, being treated a certain way, or being given a responsibility that you believe you have earned.  It also comes in the form of superiority, a sense of “I have so much experience, you should listen to me”.

The worst part of a sense of entitlement is that it leads to a blockage of opportunities because we think we already know the answers to something.  It keeps us closed off from the big picture.  Remember how dangerous this is, because we don’t know what we don’t know.

The way that most of us develop an attitude of entitlement is by constantly doing things that we are comfortable with and never trying anything new.  The repetition of the same things over and over gives us confidence.  But not attempting anything new is a lack of courage and risk taking; both skills are necessary to succeed and overcome our ego.  And here is where we reach the fine line between confidence and entitlement.  We should be confident in the things we do, but we should not cross the line where we believe we are owed something because we possess knowledge.  In fact, it should be the other way around.  When we know, we must share and pass it on. A mature person does not look for praise and recognition.

It is interesting that some of the most respected figures in history all have humility in common.  They received lots of praise for their work, but not because they did the work for praise.  They focused on the “journey” as they say, not the result.

Lastly, remember that we see our own faults in others when we judge.  This is different than when a teacher, for example, has to point out a mistake a student is making to help them along.  That kind of judgment comes from a place of sharing.  Negative judgment comes from our egos attempting to make ourselves feel better by putting others down when we don’t fully understand them.  So when we see someone with “entitlement issues” we just might be looking in the mirror.

If we all choose to work on our own “stuff” we might have more free time to do more important things, instead of clutter our heads and hearts with feelings of judgment and entitlement.  More time to work on the good stuff means we get more good stuff out of life.

Work on the good stuff.

All the best,
David Alvas