Weekly Tune Up 5/28/2011

Pick Me Ups!

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

Every now and then, some good quotes are what the soul needs to carry on in difficult times, move to the next level, or just plain inspiration. Here are some of my favorites. Enjoy!

“Discipline goes beyond our personal desires.”

–Kee Hwang, Founder of Tang Soo Do/Soo Bahk Do Moo Duk Kwan

“G-d, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

-Unknown

“The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.”

-Randy Pausch

“DO – YOUR – JOB. If all of you do your jobs, you will be champions at the end of this game.”

-Bill Bellichick, 3X Super Bowl Head Coach of the New England Patriots

“Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You may not get what you want, but in the long run you will get what you expect.

-Denis Waitley

“He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander.”

-Aristotle

“Rough seas make for skilled sailors.”

-Unknown

“Men's best successes come after their disappointments.”

-Henry Ward Beecher

“All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.”

-T.E. Lawrence

Enjoy the holiday weekend with your family and friends.

All the best,

David Alvas

Weekly Tune Up 5/19/2011

RESPONSE-ABILITY

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

I would like to share with everyone something I have learned that has impacted my life greatly, as well as the lives of my most senior students.

Responsibility has become a cliché term in the martial arts world. Drive around and look at the store fronts of most martial arts schools, and you will probably find this word in big vinyl letters glued to the windows. But what does it really mean to be responsible? Talking about the word does not give it any life. It must become an action-philosophy. This simply means that we give life to a philosophy by putting it into action.

Let’s start by identifying what responsibility IS NOT. Someone once said that “irresponsibility is not honoring the best version of yourself.” This is important because it suggests that we have to be accountable to ourselves first. People may never know some of the things that you do, BUT YOU WILL. You are the one who has to sleep with it at night.

Being responsible for yourself and others has a lot to do with your ability to not react when something happens to you that you normally would react to. If you break down the word responsibility, you get two new words: RESPONSE and ABILITY. Your ability to respond to situations in a proactive manner determines the outcome. Reacting to a situation is not conscious and therefore leads to no transformation for you or the issue you are trying to resolve.

Remember that becoming the best version of yourself means BEING the best version of yourself. To accomplish this, learn to transform from a reactive being to a proactive being, one moment at a time. That is what it truly means to be responsible.

What is your response-ability?

All the best,

David Alvas

Weekly Tune Up 5/10/2011

Don’t Give Away the Answer

By Master Instructor David Alvas, Director

Most of you have probably experienced that when you give someone advice, they often choose not to receive it and use it. They nod their heads and stay quiet as you explain to them what it is they need to do, say thank you, and go on with their business. Sometime later, when you see them again, you ask them how things are going, and they tell you they are stuck in the same place.

Why is that? Why do people not take advice, even when they ask for it?

We are a species of hard and slow change. We need to burn our hands on the stove to stop touching the stove, even if mom and dad warned us of the certain damage it would cause. This is because we innately need to manifest our sense of ownership over our actions and our work. We need to be the cause of our successes, AND OUR FAILURES. Failure can sometimes be the best teacher.

Think about it. Have you ever heard someone brag about a mistake they made in the past to demonstrate how much they have learned and how far they have come? It’s as if they are almost proud of the mistake, because it opened their eyes to a higher wisdom. However, this only works when you make a mistake and are open to receiving the lesson of the mistake. Most of us make the same mistakes over and over again because we are missing the root message, or are simply not in a place in our lives to make the correction yet.

When people ask for advice, they are really asking to be heard. They are asking for guidance, and guidance and advice are NOT the same things. In order to give guidance, you must be able to relate to and feel a person’s pain. People will allow you to help them if they feel you have experienced what they are experiencing. A wise guide asks questions that lead to a result that is discovered by the person in need. This way, the person asking for “advice” finds the answer for themselves, and takes ownership of that answer, because they are proud of the fact that they discovered the answer. It wasn’t given to them on a silver platter.

Major corporations like Toyota have found that promoting someone too quickly to a high level position in the company almost always results in failure because the employee did not earn ownership of the company by working their way up the ladder. They did not experience all of the hardship and lessons each small step up the ladder brings.

This week, when someone asks for advice, try asking questions instead of telling them what to do. They may just find the answer on their own.

It is also important to have the courage to admit when you don’t know the answer or the right questions to ask. If you don’t know how to help them, just listen and connect with their pain. Saying ‘I don’t know the answer’ can be powerful for both of you.

All the best,

David Alvas